


but baby don't you go overanalyze

by juniperProse



Category: Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Miscommunication, i put this under gen but it has The Fuck Word in it be warned, very mild angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 18:19:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13036767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juniperProse/pseuds/juniperProse
Summary: Steven had a crush on Andrew, okay? He had a big, dumb crush- and he was an adult, damn it! He shouldn’t feel like a stupid teenager pining over some guy!(Andrew wasn’t just “some guy,” though- he was handsome, and funny, and wonderful, and caring- but that’s besides the point.)—Or: Steven learns that Andrew has a boyfriend, and he’s pretty damn heartbroken over it.





	but baby don't you go overanalyze

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the song cold cold man by saint motel!
> 
> i’m... relatively pleased with this piece?? there are some parts i don’t like about it, like, some parts are awkwardly worded, imo. but overall i’m happy with this fic, and i hope y’all enjoy it!!

Steven had a crush on Andrew, okay? He had a big, dumb crush- and he was an adult, damn it! He shouldn’t feel like a stupid teenager pining over some guy!

(Andrew wasn’t just “some guy,” though- he was handsome, and funny, and wonderful, and caring- but that’s besides the point.)

Yet here he was, overanalyzing every interaction he had with the man, maybe even trying to give him hints and ultimately failing.

It didn’t help that Andrew was absolutely _unreadable_. Steven could make him crack a smile on myriad occasions, sure, but underneath that relatively stoic (and attractive) face, he had no clue what the other man was thinking or feeling. Did he like him back? Did he even notice his (attempts at) flirting? Did he just find Steven annoying but was too polite to say anything? Goodness gracious.

And, okay, maybe they had held hands once or twice, so what? Andrew probably didn’t think anything of it, so Steven shouldn’t either. Andrew probably didn’t feel _anything_ towards Steven, or at least, not anything romantic. Steven shouldn’t get his hopes up, and so he tried valiantly not to.

Clearly, he failed at that.

—

That morning, Steven was walking to Andrew’s desk to ask him something about- about- fuck, it didn’t _matter_ what he was going to ask him.

What _did_ matter was how Steven’s heart simultaneously clawed its way out of his chest and broke into a million pieces the exact moment he overheard Andrew, conversing with a coworker, say the words “My boyfriend and I…”

And Steven couldn’t register the rest of what Andrew said, as he was practically running to _anywhere but there_ almost immediately after hearing that, on instinct.

He ended up in a stall in the men’s bathroom, tears stinging at his eyes and a lump (probably his heart) in his throat.

Andrew had a boyfriend.

_Andrew had a boyfriend._

This revelation meant, in Steven’s mind, a few things:

  1. Andrew wasn’t straight-
  2. but, he also clearly wasn’t interested in _him_.
  3. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up, should have gotten over his stupid lovebird crush _months_ ago.
  4. God damn it.
  5. God fucking damn it.



Steven tried to stay silent as he cried, alone, sitting in a bathroom stall at Buzzfeed- and, as he always seemed to do, failed miserably at it, as a sob escaped his throat.

Wow, he sure felt fucking pathetic.

It took a good five minutes for Steven to stop crying, and another five to will himself out of the stall he locked himself into. Alright. Alright, okay.

He looked into the bathroom mirror- yeah, he definitely looked like he’d been crying. That’s fine. Maybe no one would notice?

—

Steven being upset was like an overcast day- like his sunshine was covered by a grey cloud curtain.

Needless to say, _everyone_ noticed.

Maybe it was because of his puffy eyes, or how he kept staring at the ground, or how he seemed very obviously more _pouty_ than usual, but no matter what was giving his glum mood away, he couldn’t walk 30 feet without someone asking “Hey, you okay, Steven?” or variations thereof.

God, someone save him now.

Steven was able to brush everyone off just fine, until Adam Goddamn Bianchi walked up to him while he was sat at his desk.

(He’d had the Google homepage open on his desktop for 10 minutes now, just staring at it- God help him, he couldn’t remember what he was searching for.)

“Are you upset because of Andrew?” said Adam.

Oh, straight to the point then, huh.

“...Yes,” Steven sighed, because there was no point in lying about it to Adam, of all people.

“I’ll kick your boyfriend’s ass for you, if you want me to.” His quiet yet deadpan voice should have made Steven laugh, but-

“ _He’s not my boyfriend._ ” Maybe he had meant to sound snappy and mean by saying that, but instead he just sounded- well. Like he just got rejected.

“Oh. Could’ve fooled me,” Adam said. “Sorry.”

There was an awkward silence, and Steven very purposefully let it linger. He didn’t want to talk about this. He just didn’t _want_ to.

“...I can still kick his ass for you, though.”

Now _that_ got Steven to chuckle. “Thanks, Adam,” he said softly.

Adam nodded, said a simple “You should talk to him,” and walked off, leaving Steven alone to think things over. (To _overthink_ things, more like.)

—

Steven avoided Andrew the next day, and the next, until a week went by and they hadn’t spoken at all.

It was childish of him, to be ignoring his friend like this, but- but he was _scared_ , okay? He was scared, because Steven was a bad liar, and he especially can’t lie to _Andrew_ \- stupidly perfect, wonderful, kindhearted Andrew- and so…

And so, he couldn’t talk to him, otherwise he’d blurt out the truth, and he didn’t want to face the consequences of that.

He really, really didn’t want Andrew to hate him.

Then again, by ignoring him entirely, Steven was maybe still causing Andrew to hate him, albeit for different reasons.

So, Steven was in a lose-lose situation, or so he felt.

“Steven.”

Steven was startled out of his moping by an all too familiar voice.

He glanced up from where he was sitting at his desk to see who else but Andrew Ilnyckyj and his dumb handsome face.

“...Yes?” The one word still took so much effort, but he managed to spit it out. Nice job, Steven. Absolutely nailed it.

“Can we talk?”

Oh, no no no _no_. Never fuckin’ mind.

Shit. Gosh. God damn. What was he supposed to say here?

Steven froze up, tense in his seat.

“Not- it doesn’t have to be right now,” Andrew continued, seeing Steven’s apprehension written all over his face. “Could we talk later? My place or yours, doesn’t matter.”

And Steven couldn’t say no to Andrew, not in a million years. “Okay,” he choked out.

“I’ll… see you then. Tonight.”

Steven nodded mutely in response, not making eye contact out of pure anxiousness, and with that, Andrew wandered off, leaving Steven with far too many questions that he could never bring himself to ask.

...Did Andrew _know_?

Steven rubbed at his eyes. God. He definitely wasn’t going to be able to get any work done now, not with his stomach doing backflips like this.

—

Steven came home from work, as usual, like everything was normal and a-okay and his relationship with one of his closest friends _wasn’t_ about to topple over like a Jenga tower.

Maybe Andrew would just… forget to come over. Actually, come to think of it, they had never determined whose house they’d meet at, so maybe Andrew would get confused and not show up!

...That was highly unlikely, Steven thought.

Left to his own devices, Steven ended up taking a depression nap on his sofa, as one does. He was only woken up by the sound of knocking on his door.

Oh, no.

Like he was running on autopilot, which, to be fair, he totally was, Steven lifted himself off the couch and very sluggishly made his way to open his door.

It was Andrew Ilnyckyj, what a surprise.

“Oh. Hi,” Steven said eloquently.

“Hey. Can I come in?”

A little part of Steven wanted to say _‘no, fuck off, I don’t want to see you or your beautiful face ever again,’_ but that would be rude and also a humongous lie, just, like, the biggest lie ever. He wanted to see Andrew’s gorgeous face every single minute of every single day, preferably. _Especially_ after having avoided it this past week.

“‘Course you can,” Steven mumbled, making way for Andrew to enter.

They found themselves sat on Steven’s couch a few moments later, silence hanging heavy in the air between them.

“Did I do something wrong?” Andrew’s voice cut through their quiet like a knife.

“Wh- huh?”

“Steven. Be honest with me. Did I do something to make you upset at me?”

There was concern evident in the way unreadable Andrew’s voice lilted. Steven felt his heart shatter all over again at that small detail.

He took a breath. “No- no. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re perfect.”

Damn him and his loose lips- he didn’t mean to say that last part. Now that was just weird of him.

Andrew, thank goodness, brushed over his slipup. “Then… why have you been avoiding me?”

Ah. The elephant in the room.

“I… It’s me, it’s my fault. It’s because… I…” Steven stammered, then clammed up. He couldn’t do this, couldn’t tell him about his- _no_ , he was gonna lose his whole friendship with Andrew, and- and- and-

“Steven,” Andrew started, his voice going into that too-gentle and too-soft concerned tone that made Steven absolutely melt. “You can tell me anything.”

“You’ll- you’ll hate me if I tell you the truth.” And, fuck, Steven was probably about to cry again.

Andrew’s face fell. “Stevie, I could _never_ hate you. Not ever. Okay?”

“...Do you promise?” Steven swallowed, like maybe that’d make the lump in his throat go away.

“I promise.”

Steven took a moment to compose himself, or to _try_ to, and then, “I… okay. The other day, I overheard you mention that- that you have a boyfriend, and I got upset, because I- _I have a crush on you_ \- and…”

His voice cracked on the last word. He forced himself to look up at Andrew through wet eyes.

Andrew’s brows were furrowed, like he was concerned and confused or maybe just trying to figure out a really tough math problem- Steven could never quite tell.

“You… I…” Andrew tried, until some sort of realization struck him and his facial expression melted into something akin to adoration.

“Oh, Steven…” Andrew said, before leaning in and _kissing Steven on the cheek, oh my God?_

Steven’s hand unconsciously lifted up and touched where Andrew’s lips had just been. What? Was this real life? Was he just- _pitying_ him? What-

Confusion was evident on his face, apparently, because Andrew continued, “When I was talking about “my boyfriend,” I meant _you_.”

What? Steven thought.

“Wait, _what_?” Steven said.

“I- I was under the impression we’d been dating for the past two months,” Andrew said, an almost-grin on his face. “I- assumed you knew.”

“I- what? We’ve been dating this whole time?!” Steven felt all kinds of mixed emotions at that moment. He felt downright _giddy_ , for the most part. Like… holy crap! Andrew liked him back, and they were _dating?!_ He could feel a smile creeping up on him.

Andrew had that look of sheer unadulterated fondness on his face- now _that_ was an expression Steven could always read on Andrew.

“Yeah- I-“ Andrew started, before full-on smiling. “Remember that time two months ago when you asked if you could hold my hand, and then I said yes, and I told you that I liked you? You said “I like you too,” and- I mean- I assumed-“

Steven laughed. “That- that doesn’t- Andrew, oh my gosh,” but despite his chiding, Steven was grinning a sunshine grin, and he felt like he might pass out from the whiplash of emotions he’d just experienced. He couldn’t bring himself to be mad at Andrew about this, not at all, not ever. Awkward, wonderful Andrew.

Steven slumped against him, and then they were kind-of-hugging on the couch, holding each other and laughing like it was the only right thing in the world. (And, as far as Steven was concerned, it _was_ the only right thing in the world- perfect Andrew’s perfect arms and handsome face and cute laugh, that is.)

Their giggle fit died down, and as it grew quiet, Steven leaned back to look at Andrew’s (his _boyfriend’s!_ ) face and asked, “Can I kiss you now?”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Andrew said with that soft, sweet smile of his.

So Steven leaned in, Andrew meeting him halfway, and their lips met- it was all he’d ever dreamed of and more.

**Author's Note:**

> oh my gosh, i love these boys so much.
> 
> hey uh, follow me on tumblr @ryanbergarage and yell about standrew n shyan with me, please??
> 
> thanks for reading!!!!!!! <3


End file.
